Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
did you just send me my own nude
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