I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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