You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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