I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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