You can't special order awesome
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she told me i tasted like america
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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