My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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