Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
