porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
