never play flip cup with pint glasses
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
