i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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