420 ftw
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
