no, he came in my armpit
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
