I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
