I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
