Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
