She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
