Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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