yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
