things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
