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Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
