i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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