She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
