He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
