I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
