Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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