You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
