your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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