Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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