every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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