he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
