: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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