whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
