After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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