Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
