It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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