I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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