I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
2020 sucks, I want a refund
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
