She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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