i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
