does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
