drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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