i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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