Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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