I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Farmville is her only friend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
