Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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