it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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