The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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