you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
