Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
