My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
