I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
